Worlds About to End

Kichae Chandramani
Jafo Entertainment & News, Inc.
 

Foran - We're all about to die.

That's the news coming from the labs of conspiriologist Dr. Weir Dümed this afternoon, anyway.  The galaxy renown researcher claims new evidence coming out of Inderal points toward an imminent galactic cataclysm.

"While performing routine scientific scans of the Inderal system, my team stumbled across something astonishing," says Dr. Dümed.  "There, carved into the grassy fields of Inderal IV's countryside, was a message!"

The message came in the form of a series of glyphs, claims Dr. Dümed, cut, stamped, or burned into farmers' crops.  No one's sure who's responsible for creating the glyphs, but there's one thing they're positive of:  Whoever they are, they're trying to tell us something important.

"It's just like that movie, The DevIA Code," says Dümed. "They're leaving us little clues to lead the worthy to an amazing and important revelation."

The glyphs, according to the good doctor, tell the story of a huge explosion emanating and radiating out from the centre of a galaxy, presumably our galaxy, the Milky Way.  As the explosive shockwave sweeps over the galaxy, it causes the wholesale destruction of stars, planets, and presumably the universe as a whole, and radiating out, causing the whole sale destruction of stars, planets, and presumably the universe as.  One glyph is even seen to depict some mysterious onlookers, who appear to be smiling and laughing while looking down upon the fiery obliteration.

"It's a warning for us all," claims Dümed, "And what good is a warning if there's nothing to be done?  We need to change our ways!

"We're a very wasteful species," Dümed continues.  "Look at all the solar energy we're wasting!  Every second of every day, the 400 billion suns in this galaxy radiate 10 trillion yottajoules  that we completely waste.  We've been blinded by Big Antimatter into thinking all we should care about is the price of positrons, and by the mass entertainment industry into believing that reality is like a holovid.

"We need to open our eyes, and our minds, to what's really out there!"

So, just how much time do we have to radically change civilization and the course of humanity before we're all turned into space dust?

"Well," says Dr. Dümed, "According to my calculations, if we're reading these crop glyphs correctly, we'll all be dead three weeks ago this Thursday.  That is, of course, unless we do something about it."

 

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