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Racer Sues Over Race Results

Phoebe Balcombe
JENI Sports

Indianaplanet - Physicists the galaxy over are being handed subpoenas today to appear before the Indianaplanet Superior Court, as part of a lawsuit filed against the natural sciences.

Space racer Valerie O'Sity claims, in O'Sity v. The Laws of the Universe, that physicists are to blame for her recent loss at the Indianaplanet 500,000,000,000,000.

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Fighter Ace

Kichae Chandramani
JENI Sports

The revving of engines, the pew-pewing of lasers, and the smell of antimatter in the morning.  These are just some of the signs that destruction is in the air, as the annual Fighter Ace star fighter tournament looms on the horizon.  The competition promises to be the most exciting thing to hit our quadrant of the galaxy since roller derby, now that the Trans-Sagittarius Xtreme 'Nittin' Championships have been cancelled.