Get-Away Ship Found!

Crazy Cultists Still at Large!

Daemar M. Adness

Asteroid Field AN100 - In the early hours of the morning (GST) local law enforcement discovered an immobile vessel deep within the AN100 mining cluster. The ship was speedily identified as the Left Turn Here which was last seen fleeing the scenes of chaos at the Brebion Station. Rapid Deployment teams set up a perimeter while a boarding party was sent to the ship.

After attempts at communication failed the boarding party was given the go-ahead. They carried out their assignment with great fervour, storming the ship in several teams tasked with seizing crucial ship systems. Shots were fired resulting in one fatality and several, relatively minor, injuries. The police were not disheartened, despite discovering the ship was abandoned, and the mission was deemed a success.

"Law enforcement is a risky job," says Chief of Police Stuart. P Richards, "Everyone knows what they are getting into. Considering the circumstances that we operate in one death is actually a good result. I mean these are men that go into highly dangerous situations with the little, or no, intelligence that we have."

The cultists reported to be onboard the vessel have yet to be found, apparently having vanished along with whatever crew the ship may have had.

When asked about any new developments Chief Richards merely said that the investigation was "ongoing" and that they were "following up all possible leads". Conversely, our sources suggest that the cultists have vanished without trace, the only indication of their whereabouts being a short recording by cult leader Supreme Grandmaster Rodney claiming they were "logging out".

Wherever they are, their ideas have gained quite a following in both the hardcore extremists' and casual believers' camps. The new religion has quickly been branded with a snazzy new name; Digitism, in an attempt to distance itself from its "dangerous" roots.

"This is the best thing since fundamentalist Chrislamaism, and believe me, I have experience in over thirty major religions," says professional religious extremist Andrew B. Agon, "Its original, combines the modern world with typical religious ideas and because it's new we can make up rules against things we don't like."

Whether the Enlightened Order of the Finite Universe is still out there or has disappeared off the face of the universe altogether, their crazy antics certainly have provided results. People everywhere are pondering on the nature the universe.

Whatever happens, be sure to remember that we'll have the coverage. If the answer to life, the universe and everything does come up we'll be sure to tell you.

 

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