Crooks Knock Over NY Gas Stop

Kichae Chandramani
Jafo Entertainment & News, Inc.
 

New Yildun Prime - Police responding to an emergency distress call at the Vy'ng Big Stop fuel station in orbit around Marcellus, a gas giant in the outer reaches of the New Yildun star system, stumbled into a scene that could have been taken straight out of a Holowood summer comedy.

"The clerk had reported an armed robbery," says Sheriff Rick Shorty, of the New Yildun Outer Worlds Sheriff's Office.  "What we saw when we arrived looked more like a full blown shoot out.  There were holes and scorch marks everywhere, but no blood, and no injuries."

"Over 600 shots were fired," continued Sheriff Shorty, "but not one of them seemed to actually hit anyone."

According to the sheriff's report, the bandits made off with over 1600 crates of cigarettes, 3000 bottles of spirits, 28,000 bottles of beer, and one full crate of double stuffed ding dongs.  They didn't get far with their booty, however.

"While assessing the crime scene and taking witness statements," says Sheriff Shorty, "We received an automated distress from a nearby ship.  It ran out of fuel near Marcellus and had entered into a high emergency orbit to wait for assistance. "

Leaving his deputies in charge of the crime scene, Sheriff Shorty went to investigate the distress call.  What he found added another onion layer.

"When I boarded the ship - a small personal freighter - it all made sense.  It was a very nonsensical sort of sense, but it made sense in context," says Shorty.  "There were three of them.  Two of them had passed out, drunk, with lit smokes dangling from their mouths, while the third was singing Lady Googoo songs while trying to swim through a crate of cream style topping stuffed convenience cakes."

"I guess our thieves took everything they needed except for a full tank of fuel," added the sheriff.

The crooks have been identified as Godfrey Saint-Omer and Payen de Montdidier of Loros, and Geoffrey Bison of Pallium, well known members of the criminal group, The Knights Templar.

This marks the second Templar bust in New Yildun in as many week.  The NYOWSO, however, believes them to be isolated incidents and doesn't consider them to be anything to worry about.

 

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