Black to Black

Excrubulent
OJOQWCWC Winner

Vic finished the book signing with an official digital seal from his publisher that guaranteed that this copy was in fact signed by his hand.  His smile’s famous smugness jacked up another notch as he handed the digital reader back to the red-faced girl with the pink top and pink eye-liner.  “Keep dreaming, darling,” he purred, with a voice like extra virgin olive oil.  He was proud of that one.  He wondered if, uh, Shannon would ever notice the double entendre.  Probably not until she regained the ability to form a coherent sentence, at least.  “See you later, baby.”

 

Excrubulent

Vic finished the book signing with an official digital seal from his publisher that guaranteed that this copy was in fact signed by his hand.  His smile’s famous smugness jacked up another notch as he handed the digital reader back to the red-faced girl with the pink top and pink eye-liner.  “Keep dreaming, darling,” he purred, with a voice like extra virgin olive oil.  He was proud of that one.  He wondered if, uh, Shannon would ever notice the double entendre.  Probably not until she regained the ability to form a coherent sentence, at least.  “See you later, baby.”

“Wow!  Thanks!  Um!”

“Bye now.”

“Yeah!  Um!  Thanks!  Wow!”  Schantelle stepped backwards and bumped into the man in line behind her.  "Sorry!"  She regained her balance and skittered to the door, giggling nervously to herself.

Vic let his smile drop back to its default smugness to greet the man Shannon had collided with, a disheveled middle-aged man in a grubby yellow overcoat and a black striped fedora who gave the strange air of being both trustworthy and repulsive at the same time.  Even the five-black-tooth smile he had on his face somehow managed to be amiable.  "To whom shall I make it out?"

"Mr Jafo - J-A-F-O - please."

Vic's eye twitched a little and his stomach churned in response to the halitosis that hit him like a container load of rotten vegetables when the newcomer opened his mouth, but his external composure was admirable; smugness almost entirely intact.  "Sure thing.  What would you like it say?"

"It's all true, Victor McVictor."

The smugness beamed out with redoubled self-assurance.  "Nice to meet a true believer!  I can't stand these people who go around saying I get explorers drunk for their stories, then pass them off as my own.  I've seen the centre with my own two eyes!  I've looked down the edge of the disc with nothing between me and the intergalactic void but a cheap suit visor!  I'll be damned if I let a bunch of naysayers tarnish those memories for me, though."  He signed the cover page with enthusiastic flourish and stamped the digital seal with the speed and efficiency of hands that have done it 10,446 times.  As he reviewed his handiwork, he noticed the cover was different to all the other books he'd signed that day.

"What’s this?"  He didn't sound angry, just confused; a rare emotion for Victor McVictor.

Mr Jafo manoeuvred the electronic reader out of Vic's hand so quickly and nonchalantly that Vic, an adept himself, instantly recognised the work of a master pickpocket.  In a low, pleasant voice designed to only be audible to Vic he replied, "It's an exposé detailing how you get explorers drunk, murder them, steal their ships and computer records, sell the maps and then pass their stories off as your own.  It spells out how you bribed Deltan immigration officials to validate false flight logs and overlook the presence of several consignments of highly illegal substances in your cargo hold.  It also reveals that your real name is Nigel."

Intense shock, anger and admiration were wrestling for control of Vic's face.  That was the most passive-aggressive statement he'd ever heard.  This man had just told him that he was ruined, that he could be up for the death penalty, and the whole time he was speaking, his voice and countenance were so sincere that they had Vic's instincts ignoring the words and saying, "Trust this man."  He almost went along with it.

Victor McVictor gathered himself, and looked again with professional eyes at a fellow con-man.  The smugness rallied.  "Mr Jafo, people enjoy the stories that I tell, I believe in sharing them with the universe, and I get well rewarded for it.  You're a business man, aren't you?"

Omgits' smile revealed a sixth tooth.